People approach the issue of life purpose differently – some start asking what's the purpose of life already in their youth, for some it happens later, in relation to midlife crisis, and some don't pay much attention to it at all. I believe these different approaches stem from different life experiences: for someone who had a difficult childhood, where they haven't felt loved and supported, they might start asking "What's the purpose of all this?" quite early on. For those who had loving, supportive parents or caretakers, the issue of purpose isn't that pressing, because they don't see life as suffering. They find meaning and fulfillment in their relationships, their achievements, in enjoying the beauty of life.

I believe most of us start wondering about purpose when our life doesn't function the way we've hoped, when we feel there's something important missing. I started wondering about purpose already in my adolescence, because I wasn't happy with myself or my life. I was very self-critical and was longing for happiness and fulfillment, which seemed very far away. In my twenties I embarked on a path of self-discovery and started searching for answers in spirituality. That turned out to be a long and winding path to myself, where at one point I'd even asked a guru to tell me what my purpose was, because I didn't know it myself.

What I was looking for all along, but didn't know it at the time, was a sense of self-worth, a sense that I am important and that I matter. Once I healed the sense of unworthiness, a new world started opening before me: I started developing more trust in myself, and eventually, trusting that I know what's best for me and that I need neither a guru, nor a parent, nor someone else to tell me what to do with my life. I was perfectly capable of knowing it deep within, as soon as I started accepting and valuing myself.

Looking back, it appears that a large part of my quest for purpose was actually a quest for self-worth. When I solved that, I could put together the rest of the puzzle - my passion, talents and interests – which showed me the way to my purpose.

Now, after much searching and refining, I believe I've found my purpose. I am passionate about helping people find their true self and live from that authentic place, realizing their full potentials. This I feel is my purpose in life. It's something that brings me joy and fulfillment, and that I find worthwhile and meaningful.

Quest for your true self

When we're searching for purpose, we're going on a quest of sort – we are retrieving lost parts of ourselves. Perhaps you aren't suffering from low self-esteem like I was, but you might have forgotten or given up some of the things that made you happy. Perhaps you've put your dreams on the back burner and focused on building a career or raising a family, but then never really came back to revisit those dreams. You might have suppressed your own desires and followed someone else's vision of success. You might have sacrificed yourself for others, and now you're feeling depleted and empty. You might not even know what you want, only what you don't want.

These are all signs that you need to slow down, get off the hamster wheel, and turn inside, to retrieve those lost parts of yourself. You need to set aside time for yourself and get in touch with your dreams and desires, (re)discover what makes you happy, what gives you meaning and fulfillment, what is important to you. Perhaps there is a world issue close to your heart that you'd like to help solving? Is there a dream that would cause you deep regret if you never took the courage to go after it?

Finding your purpose is a process of self-discovery, and ultimately living from that authentic place, fulfilled and in harmony with yourself.

Tips for discovering your purpose

Here are some more tips to help you discover your purpose, which I've put together based on my own experience and hits and misses on my path:

• Life purpose needs to come from within. It's not something someone else tells you or expects from you, and then you follow it.

• Life purpose goes beyond you, it's related to serving people in a way that enhances their lives. One's life purpose cannot be to be rich, but it could be to be a philanthropist and fund worthwhile causes.

• Life purpose is something you are passionate about. If you feel obliged to do it, e.g. to serve poor communities, but it doesn't really give you joy, although you feel it's a worthy cause you should sacrifice for, then it's not your purpose. Purpose isn't something you see as an obligation and sacrifice, no matter how noble it might be.

• Life purpose shouldn't serve some unmet need in you, such as receiving recognition and praise for being the greatest donor in your community, or the greatest expert in your field. Life purpose comes from the place of wholeness, it’s not fueled by a need for approval, recognition or fame.

• Life purpose isn't necessarily something you're good at (yet). For example, you might be good at quality control and proofreading, but this doesn't bring you joy. You couldn't imagine it being your job, doing it for 8 hours a day. However, if you're good at something and it also brings you joy, that's already closer to your purpose.

• Last but not least, life purpose isn't something you can forget – life brings you back to it, again and again. Even if you get hurt and disappointed, and for a while you lose sight of your deeper truth and calling, there will come a time when this spark will be rekindled. You will hear the still small voice beckoning you, ever so gently and patiently, to step forward and be who you really are. 
  

Finally, it's worth noting that you don't necessarily need to quit your job and turn your life upside down in order to pursue your life purpose. What's important, however, is that you re-connect with your true values and desires, and allow them more space in your life. You can do that via a hobby, or perhaps you can introduce values that are important to you, e.g. creativity or initiative, into your job as well. You can also join a non-profit that is dealing with the issues important to you.

As you do that, you'll experience more satisfaction and meaning in life, and consequently, you'll be more in touch with your purpose as well. Over time, you might even feel a calling to switch careers and do something more aligned with your purpose. Or you might stay in your current industry but do things more consciously, more in line with your values. Whatever you choose, you won't feel like there's something missing in your life – because you'll be living true to yourself and your purpose.