If you're shy, you know how hard it is to ask anything for yourself. I remember many years ago when traveling on a train, it was very hot in the compartment, but I didn't dare to turn the heating nob down, nor ask the other passengers if I may do so. I'd rather suffered than made a simple step to help myself.

If we're assertive, we are able to change the situation we are in, instead of feeling helpless and frustrated. We dare to stand up for ourselves and express our needs. Likewise, we aren't afraid to express our opinion and share our ideas. For example, we dare to ask for a raise, or suggest improvements in our department's operations.

Assertiveness also means that we aren't afraid to set boundaries, i.e. define what is acceptable for us and what isn't. For example, we may refuse to regularly stay late at work without any reimbursement, or to be available on the weekends for work related issues.

Being assertive means that we value and respect ourselves. At the same time, this doesn't mean we're being aggressive or without empathy, because while valuing ourselves, we also respect others and take into consideration their needs as well. We clearly state our own needs and preferences, but also see how to accommodate for the needs and preferences of others. This ensures healthy interpersonal relationships, free of manipulation or passive agression.

Assertive communication is a valuable tool in business and other types of negotiations too, because it allows us to arrive at win-win solutions, where all parties feel heard and neither party feels at a loss.