A lot of our job satisfaction depends on the relationship we have with our boss and co-workers. We might have a boss who doesn't appreciate us and our ideas. Or a boss who expects us to work overtime without any compensation. Our boss might be a bully, and we might fear every day that we might be laid off.

Our colleagues too may be a source of discontent. They may be lazy and uncooperative, jealous, competitive, gossiping etc.

It is important to know that the relationship with our boss or colleagues isn't set in stone – it can change if we change. For example, our boss might not be aloof and uninterested in what we have to say. He just might have not noticed us before because we are always silent in meetings, we are not sharing our thoughts and ideas.

Self-confidence and healthy boundaries

If we become more assertive, it might turn out that our boss is actually thrilled with our ideas and might even give us a promotion.

Also, if we learn to respect ourselves more and set healthy boundaries, we won't agree to regularly working overtime with no compensation, or to be expected to be accessible on the weekends too.

Likewise, if our colleague is slacking, we won't feel the urge to take over her tasks, so to not disappoint the boss. Instead, we'll talk to her or our supervisor, with the goal of resolving her productivity problem.

In other words, some of the things that currently bother and frustrate us can change by us taking a different stance. When that happens, our work conditions might actually improve.

Same with our boss: our current experience of our boss may be partially due to our own limitations (lack of self-confidence, inability to assert ourselves, inability to set boundaries), not necessarily because of our boss.

Of course, it might also turn out that even if we become more assertive, our boss still won't be interested in what we have to say. So then we can apply plan B and leave… something we have never dared to in the past!

With the new, more assertive attitude and more self-confidence, we won't be afraid to leave our current job and find a better one, where we will be appreciated and rewarded accordingly.